the rings on Saturn

The prints on my hands wind around like the rings of saturn
and when I found out the earth didn't have rings, I said explain this.
we go in endless circles in hopes that the next turn will be more enjoyable
this last rotation didn't feel right and like the speed dating in college you want to just settle down
take a breather and press on
The rings tight on people's fingers committing themselves to another set of turns
and the more turns I take the sicker I get.
The nausea is setting in and when I roll off the bed in the morning
I look at the ceiling that circles my head until it's still.
we're turning guys we're turning and when you think about that corner
you prepare for a refresher
the restart on your phone
the blank page in your journal
this new year calendar
and the new house you're supposed to call home
the vultures in the sky hoover around a helpless mammal
and the sharks around a sinking boat
the circles capture us
the life, the death, and nearly everything in between
so please, explain to me how the earth doesn't have rings.

What happened to Abby

What happened to Abby Doodle Stroodle Noodle

Or the freckle on her nose that she always wanted to hide and

Where did the pickle green polo shirts go that were buttoned up to the top and her straight across bangs

What took the silence from her heart and put the tears in her eyes

What happened to the hoop earrings and bright eye shadow that made her feel mature

The ipod nanos, the Pokémon cards, her Gameboy and her dear tamagotchis

The animal crackers, Blues Clues, her bunnies, and the legos only boys played

The Razor scooter she got for her birthday and the crocs she wore out to dinner.

Oh and what about the Webkinz and Stardoll

She was confident in her skin

She was independent

She was competitive about everything

She was opinionated

She was feisty

And She was happy

They all disappeared because dad always said to grow up and kids told her that wasn’t cool.  The boy called her fat, the girl called her ugly and the teacher called her dumb.

She decided she should probably replace those things with burgundy lipstick, diamond earrings and fake eyelashes.

She is quiet

She is a ‘whatever you want’ person

She is sad

She is lonely

And she is ok

Her nanos were upgraded to the ipod touch and the Pokémon cards were burned.

The Webkinz account has been deactivated and her Gameboy has been put out of order

The Blues Clues doesn’t play anymore and the scooter is who knows where.

Well I don’t care anymore anyways.

Paper Towns

I read the Paper Towns book by John Green.  I picked it out because I thoroughly enjoyed reading The Fault in Our Stars, also by John Green.  If you stop reading this right now, I get it.  Some people really hate that book.  But this book was not similar to The Fault in Our Stars.  Sure there is a boy and a girl, but nothing about dying or anything to make you cry.

The girl, Margo, disappears and 90% of the book is Quentin (the boy) trying to figure out where she had gone.  That being said.  I didn't like this book.  I felt like it just kept dragging on and on.  Very quickly I had lost interest to the point where I had to force myself to finish it.
I say you should probably only read this book if you can bear through pages and pages of nothing happening.  I'm not that type of person. But besides the long period of Quentin figuring things out, overall the story line was ok given there wasn't much to it.

Goodbye Elsie Grace

I wonder all the time who I am and I come up with nothing.

not that I'm nothing but I don't know who I am quite yet.

 

And this has helped, this has helped. 

 

But I guess I could start with being Abigail Waters.

I remember

I remember the voice of my grandpa when he sang some song he made up about ducks and whiskey.
I remember collecting things in Grandma's house and burying them in her front yard hoping it would be treasure when we dug it out again.
I remember finding out about my surprise 16th birthday party and then it not happening.
I remember the boy who showed up on my doorstep every year on Valentine's day for 3 years and how he didn't come last year.
I remember wishing it never ended.
I remember the jams I listened to as I cleaned my room in 7th grade.
I remember the first time I heard 'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato and bawling because it hit me.
I remember the eye contact I made with this cute boy at SeaWorld and thinking I must've known him in the Pre-Mortal life or maybe I just hoped I knew him then.
I remember finding my lifeless bunny in her cage.
I remember the peace in my heart.
I remember the Tamagotchi that grew to be an adult and giving my all to keep it alive.
I remember my waist being a little bigger.
I remember thinking math was easy.
I remember swimming in Grandma Linda's pool and eating sundaes and that she wasn't our biological grandma.
I remember hating Golum and still hating him because he ruined any chance of having a dream as a child.
I remember how we only cared about the next time we'd get to play.
I remember wandering the halls hoping somebody would stop and talk with me.
I remember watching your chest rise and fall.

I remember you.

Man Killed

Freckles on Me

My mom always said that the freckles sprinkled across my face were spots where angels had kissed me before. 

After being in an accident I gained a lot of new specks on my head, where I'd been severely injured. 

The ones on my hands are from the princes that have treated me with a respect I hope they treat their future wives with.

Freckles appear on my ears every time a song touches my heart and it happens a lot at live performances. 

The ones on my lips are from the boys I've kissed and good food I've eaten. 

The summer memories resides on my shoulders and knees where the big sun above hit so many times. 

And the angels aren't always the ones you can't see.  The marks are from every where and nearly everyone who touched a part of you that hadn't been touched before.

The people you regret letting into your life are the ones that turn into moles that turn into cancer. 
They are bound to get back at you for hurting them.

  I hope the freckles remain freckles, and the moles remain moles.