Broke

Heart broke and dark stars

The night never seemed so black

She forgot the makeup on her face  

And she’s emotionally starting to pack

How clouds form big and swollen

Her eyes followed the trend

Why can’t it all pass

Time will only tell us the end 

Ran miles in the worn out soles 

That didn’t last her long

I’m sorry that it’s gone so fast

But baby it’s better found gone 

till we meet again-sorry and thank you

this week is graduation

I have regrets and joys that will stay with me till the grave 

so I want to tell you sorry.

Sorry for things I said and things I didn't

Sorry for the mean faces and snide comments

Sorry

In elementary school, I barked at Nate Finlayson on the bus and cannot make eye contact with him ever since. Sorry Nate.

In junior high, I wrote a love note to David Flake, gave it to him the end of class, and ran off. And I left a love note in John Savage's locker.  Sorry. It's all still awkward to this day and I wish I'd never done any of it in the first place.

In high school, I learned to keep to myself because that was what was best for me. I wish I hadn't of kept oh so quiet. 

and as I sat back and watched people, I learned some things. so thank you. 

Melissa Simpson taught me that people are more important than anything.

 and Ashley Martin that little things can make a difference.

Abbie Weichers taught me that a laugh can fix almost anything.

 and Kailee Hogge that it's ok to act crazy sometimes.

Emi Hironaka taught me that anyone can be your friend.

 and Ellery Osborn that people change and opposites make the best pairs.

Emma Fruehan taught me that there is good in everyone and a rumor isn't worth it.

 and Danielle Kemp that a listening ear is never a bad idea.

Whitney Porter taught me that commitment pays off.

 and Yuna Page that we can have it all.

Heather Peterson taught me we have more than one chance at life and to never give up.

 and Brylee Bromley that service is the key to happiness and acceptance.

Kenya Anderson taught me that even though life sucks sometimes, you can change your attitude.

 and Jane Rowberry that hard work pays off.

Abby Jardine taught me that an invite won't hurt and how to build someone up.

 and Megan Solomon that judging doesn't help and love is what's important.

the list could go on.

thank you.

You all made a difference whether you know it or not.

Keep strong Knights and till we meet again,

Abigail Waters

216

216 hours we'll no longer be a knight

We've been part of Lone Peak for over 26,280 hours.

just last week I was singing praises only to find I will miss this.

by this i mean orchestra concerts.  i've played in them for over 7 years and my last one was Thursday.  Ashokan's farewell hit me hard and I was so drowned out in tears I couldn't see my music.

by this i mean small classrooms with teachers who care. most the time.

by this i mean friends the one's I'll never see again and the ones who I'll see weekly.

by this i mean dances and going out with people you've known for almost 2 decades.

I'll miss the high spirited halls.

by this i mean the youth around me.

by this i mean the seminary building and how it gave me a safe haven where i received revelation.  and how it happens to be the largest seminary building in the world.

by this i mean pulling into the parking lot in the morning, walking in with my sister and feeling the fresh air on my skin.

I'll miss this.

We'll soon be leaving the maroon, gold, and black, taking on blue, red, or green.

And when that time comes, I hope to never forget this.

Emma Fruehan, this is about you.

First off,
I feel so privileged to have been assigned to analyze your blog. I've loved you way before Polly Baker ever existed and your writing has made me love and adore you even more.

Thank you.
thanks for being real.  you don't give a crap and it makes your writing better.  I always feel like I can relate to your posts and they make me feel something.

       favorite quotes:

Your pain has always cut me deeper than my own
These tears were never for me

but somewhere near the end of may you'll be alone without a footstep to follow and you'll be thankful for the maps in your hand

and the dreamers that sleep all day and paint pictures every night that no one will ever see

But you're afraid to write down how you feel because maybe then I'll hold you accountable for the words shaped like dull kitchen knives that were aimed at my murmuring heart.

I keep trying to write essays that explain my life in 250 words or less. But how do they expect me to do that? That would take approximately 12 conversations until the cold hours of the morning where honesty is easier and words flow like rivers.

High school is a coma that some people never wake up from.

     my favorite post of all time: fire insurance not included

http://volatileheart.blogspot.com/2015/02/fire-insurance-not-included.html

You took a fire and compared it with love and how it left a smell on your clothes, that will take forever to get out.  I am amazed at every way you connected the heartbreak and campfires. Sparks and boy scouts, can't forget girls camp.  I don't think you get enough attention or credit for your work.  

      my hopes for you:

I wish you slammed more you have fantastic pieces that should be shared.  I hope you write after Paris.  

this is it

As seniors we ride late nights and drive the music,

we take the weekends and lose them like they will be back next week.

because they are.

And one day we won't have to live to the weekend

taking in the air daily realizing that this

this

and 

this was worth hanging on to

but we're seniors and Wednesdays let us down.

we're stuck in high school looking for a way out

soon we'll be begging to have what we had before.

lacking our independence, we suffer

and stunting us till the weekend when we leave Dad's texts unanswered.

we are were we are

and this can do us good.

So this is Goodbye

I'm not yours

so the subtweeting has got to stop

the late phone calls need to go

and hun get rid of the name 'babe' 

For way to long have I been stuck

trapped in a pressure point you know I am not good at getting out of.

On the daily

'what's up?', 'you want to do something?'. 'are you free?'

excuse me, am I free?

That's a good question because I would be if it weren't for you.

And no, I don't hate you 

Just give me some space.

This is America and I don't see a ring 

and not a girlfriend title in sight.

Friend zoning you so hard right now

I can't be more obvious.

We've had the talks

and you say you get it

but you don't

and it doesn't look like you'll be catching on anytime soon.

So this is goodbye

Because I need my space

and you don't need yours 

so I advise you find another girl.

I want you to have it good.

You deserve someone nice and cute.

And one who will hang onto you tight

since you'll do the same.

But I'm not that girl so this is goodbye.

20

we wondered why the mist never left and followed us around

we wondered why death comes upon us more often

and we wondered why we didn't know we'd be needing to say goodbye.

we notice kids who are hardly breathing, and don't speak up

yet we still wonder why

we struggle ourselves, and don't speak up 

and we wonder why

this is not a only a Lone Peak problem, 

but a Highland, Cedar Hills, and Alpine thing.

American Fork Hospital has around 20 patients weekly who come in after failed suicide attempts.

20

20

20

it's a lot

So maybe we need to learn to speak up for ourselves and not just others

So maybe we need to take care of us and seek help

And maybe we are wishing on a star